I am kinda numb

Sigh~..................Numbness fills my soul

My heart aches without no bound.
I hate the fact that you made me this way, but i guess i was the fool who thinks your just to darn perfect.

You are really something........

Grrrrrlllllllllll~

Need to get off my ass soon and start l.i.v.i.n

Ciao peeps cya around.................. =_____=

Pavements

Should i give up or should i keep chasing pavements? even if it leads to nowhere...........the thing is i don't want to stop

May this be love......

you know....i really don't know what to say. I know that she is on the other side of the country and chances are it might not work out how i would want it to be. I am trying not to get too deep but It doesn't seem to work. The more i push myself away the more closer i seem to get. I don't know how she feels about it. Going with the flow is fine with me but the thing is with you my flow is like tens of millions of electric flowing through my body whenever i talk to her......

Right~ truth to be told yes i like her but at the same time telling myself that it will not work out and its been a roller coaster ride for me. It's like, when i want to tell her that i want to stop, she would always find the right thing to say to un-stop me lol. I guess both of us knew the consequences and we still go on with it. This crime has been committed by 2 person. neither party wants to end it nor start it.............

I just need 1 day with her to know how its going to be.

Well......guess this why the reason i haven't been logging my thoughts in this blog. I can't focus on the matter at hand. I have been trying to figure out what is actually going on here. Sigh~!.....its such a mess up here.

But i really really want to try it out with her........but i have to keep it a distance in order to get closer to her........now that is the hardest thing for me right now. But i'll do it.....i have too........

To the broken hearted and lonely, we will sleep together tonight.......Cya peeps~ =.......oh check the music out~

Yeap~ downfall of the obvious

I am just simply too tired of it all.......not sure what is going on with me. But i really think i need to disappear from everything. I never thought anybody can be in a such sorry state of being. The truth is i guess everyone has issues, well, i have mine. I am not sure how to put it in words but i sense that i have not found peace of mind that i am looking for. Everytime things seems to be ok, something else always pops up and changed the outcome of my life......outcome?.....i sound as if my life has already endedm reached to the end of the road. LOL.

Okay, Here's the thing. I have finally settled down at work and it is working out fine. But now, it seems that the whole thing took a massive shift from 1 direction to the other. "F" that~!.......i am in a limbo and honestly speaking i have no idea where i am standing. Maybe this is another sign for me to consider taking the journey once again...........hhmmmm.......maybe..

As for you my friend......we'll c each other soon.

I am going to catch some sunshine now...........cya peeps

...blahhhh.......................

..........i am so confused. =____=

Mau pegi kah tidak ni?!...........

I wish things rolls a bit faster so i can finally see the outcome of the whole situation.

Its either a yes or a no......i seriously think you have to choose or at least tell me the real truth. Why am i always cursed with all this BS all the time. How hard is it to tell the truth?...........*shakes Head* i give up...i don't think the truth exist anymore.

I need some................

C ya around Rockstars~!

AU Revoir~

Things in our life seems to be far from what we all expect it to be.....letting go is so easily said than done. I am a learner of the way of life, i am still learning to adapt to its ridiculous way. I hope i can find the peace that i always looked for.

I sensed things too much around me.......some say its paranoia some says its just natural. I say its the truth. I know where i stand and i know where my path lies, it is not where anyone expect it to be but it is where exactly where I want it to be.

It has been a long and painful life that i led. Never seem to understand how i always seem to create my own demise. I need time to understand you and your life........i need time to figure out why you came into mine.

It has been great knowing you for all this time......18 yrs now?......but to finally say hi to you was the greatest pleasure of it all.

Time.........is the only thing we do not have.........distance?.........well.....that we can remedy. However....the time just may not be right yet again.......SIGH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You don't like it? then beat it~!

Have you ever have one of those days where you wished that you have more than what you have? (Im talking about financially). Yeap, waking up this morning i realized that it is the time of the month again where you are lil bit richer but again more poorer at the end of the day.

Living and supporting your own self is not easy, I take my hats off to those "People" out there who has tons of $$ to splash around like water. Wait till they find out how precious $$ is when they have to actually work to get their own income.

Right, theres another category of people who i am annoyed with. These people i would like to categories as people who seems to hang with the right crowd, seems rich, and blends in comfortably with those people. They are the hitch hiker or rather a passenger who is in it for the wild ride. They can't afford to splash like those people, and they don't but you know how it is in this world. You don't have to pull the trigger to be involve in the murder. All you have to do is just stand there and make sure you leave your DNA trace.......Get wut i mean!?

Now, why am i venting about this?!? well, let's just say some frens of mine invited me for a $$$$$ outing this weekend. You probably see them around too. Now i don't mind the invitation and i told them that i can't afford it (AT THE MOMENT HEHEHHE), they were pretty cool about it told me to forget about the $$$ and invited me anyways. I like sincerity. NOW, here comes the Farked up part.....theres this certain hitch hiker made a remark on the invitation aimed at me. An insulting one. So now you know....im not gonna bitch about it so thats that.

All i am saying is............even though i don't hang with the right crowd, i don't drive an expensive car, i don't drink dom perignon, and i certainly don't look like you.........it doesn't mean i am nothing. Dig deep you'd be surprise to find out who i actually am or was.

So to the hitch hikers, Rest in peace and drink other people booze for free......because thats what you are all about.